The older generation in Iran stil very much uses Taárof.
Ta’rof is a sort of politeness that is formalized and used all the time in everyday situations. One of the most basic ideas of the system is that you should always offer guests (and strangers) things that they might want or need, but at the same time it allows for the receiver to let the one who gives save face. The typical example is if someone offers you something you should first refuse it a few times before accepting, let it be a glass of water, a dinner or whatever. In this way, the giver can withdraw his offer if he can’t really afford it or if he doesn’t want to give it away. This is so widely used that it even happens in shops or in taxis where the shopkeeper initially refuses to take your money. However, this is of course a clear cut example of when you nevertheless should give him the money - otherwise you'll end up one surprised look on the shopkeepers eyes.
Another example is that you should always offer whoever you are with to go first through a door, as a sign of respect (which causes a small delay at every doorstep).
There are 1000 of different ways that this very intricate system of unwritten rules expresses itself and this was just two examples.
For me, who comes from a country where these kind of rules are absent, or at least not as manifested as in Iran, it felt a bit unnecesary and exaggerated at first. However the system is very typical for the hospitality and respect that is so significative to the Iranian culture and once you know about it and are used to it it isn’t as complicated and intricate as it sounds – an Iranian friend told me. And thinking about it in that way it's definitely something worth preserving. Nevertheless, young Iranians are not as strict on following these rules as the older generation; you can even have a laugh about it with most of them.
In a "Taárof point of view", Mehran and Ahlis grandmother was really interesting to meet: the way she acted and what she said to me and Kiwi during our stay at her house (traditional phrases of "well-wishings", hospitality etc.) . For example she was throwing rise on us when we left for good luck (of course I've already forgot the exact meaning and her exact word that came along with it).
In a "Taárof point of view", Mehran and Ahlis grandmother was really interesting to meet: the way she acted and what she said to me and Kiwi during our stay at her house (traditional phrases of "well-wishings", hospitality etc.) . For example she was throwing rise on us when we left for good luck (of course I've already forgot the exact meaning and her exact word that came along with it).
It almost goes without saying that Ta'arof was the going joke among the backpackers I met in Iran. "-You go first. -No you go first. -No, please after you. -No, I insist." and so on and on.. and on.
